The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
