I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
