No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
