Do you still have your period?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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