im drinking this country out of the recession.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
