plz talk dirty to me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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