if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
