I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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