think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
