I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
