His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
