You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize