what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
