Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
