Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
someone owes me an orgasm
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
