put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
