Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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