Kiss
Puke
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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