wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
