There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
