I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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