Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
