If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
