Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
