I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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