new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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