I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
