I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This girl is more easily done than said...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
