38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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