FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
