Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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