remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you inspire me to be a worse person
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
