I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
