What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im holly from the hills drunk
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
