# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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