I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
