I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
