I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
