Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
