I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
