sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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