Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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