On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
