Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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