Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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