it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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