throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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