Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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