Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
