there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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