can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
