I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
