drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize