don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize