chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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