My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
