Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
