At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
